Seamless, Mission Critical Jargon, Buzzword and Tech Speak Jargon
We all know about jargon, buzzwords and tech speak, we've all heard it (or been victims of it) and just like that other word that begins with "bull" we think we know it when we hear it.
What do buzzwords, tech speak and jargon have to do with game development?
Well, in game development, as in any other discipline, some would argue that jargon facilitates efficient and concise communication and it does, for the most part. But like any tool (weapon?) it can be used for nefarious purposes (cue evil laugh).
I remember a science professor of mine noting that jargon and technical language, while conveying information efficiently most of the time, is sometimes used to exclude others who aren't familiar with the vernacular, exclude those not part of the group. Depending upon usage it may comprise an argot that is exclusionary. In forum debates, which as we all know are always civil and on-topic, jargon can be used as a club to beat your ignorant opponent over the head. Jargon is even more effective when used to build a "wall 'o text" to confuse and befuddle your enemies.
Marketing types, especially IT marketing types, have jargon and buzzword usage down to a science. Some marketing copy resembles political speak, long on words, short on actual meaning.
In honor of one of my favorite online "tools", the Dilbert Mission Statement Generator which is sadly no longer around, I thought I might ask people to compose some awesome tech jargon filled, marketing buzzword laced, game engine tech descriptions, press releases etc.
The only requirement is that you must use "cloud" somewhere in it. (Just kidding)
Oh, and it has to mean absolutely nothing.
I've provided a few nouns, verbs, adjectives, acronyms and examples etc. to get you started, please feel free to expand the list.
Just make sure you have fun in an "agile, highly focused, results oriented, intensive, system centric, user friendly, socially viral, organic and cloud accessible manner". Examples
“Cloud accessible, team centric, cross platform middleware designed to democratize game development in a proactive, iterative environment that is deployment based, proactive, asset intensive and monetization friendly.”
“Procurement based IT solutions developed for security aware applications in high end agency environments for cost conscious, fault tolerant, cloud based and distributable mobile linked software ecosystems”
“Agile, data oriented system wide applications for directed, vendor neutral, access intensive database management environments in utilization focused, efficient, secure and end user friendly multispectral data retrieval scenarios.”
“A framerate conscious, game development IDE with graphics fidelity, pipeline efficient tools, polygonal minimization and gpu performance as primary goals.”Jargon and Tech Speak Starter Kit
gamification, cloud, proactively, organic, deployment, based, interactive, iterative,
monetization, fault tolerant, data intensive, infrastructure, core, OEM, COTS, efficient, focused,
vendor neutral, AJAX, independent, viral, secure, system wide, goal oriented, results based,
paradigm, aware, flexible, agile, IDE, seamless, socially, strategic, value added, data centric, resource, accessible, provision, provisional, distributed,ROI, mission critical, solution, sector, initiative, framework, GPU, concurrent,VM, metric
Related tools and linkshttp://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.htmlhttp://emptybottle.org/bullshit/index.phphttp://www.oldmouse.com/articles/speech.htmlhttp://www.jeffgainer.com/badstyle.html